What is Culture?

• Culture is a set of mental rules for survival and success that a particular group of people has developed.
• Culture is that part of the environment made by humans; it includes customs and values as well as material objects.
• Cultures are learned and communicated consciously and unconsciously to subsequent generations.
• Cultures are multifaceted, including factors like family structure, spirituality, language, technology, organizations, law art, body image, parenting practices, concept of growth, aging and death.
• Cultures are dynamic; that is, they are characterized by continuous- though sometimes incremental- change.
• Culture is a way of life that makes a group of people unique.
• We have multiple, overlapping cultural identities. The culture and sub-cultures of my religion, my ethnic heritage, my gender, and the dominant culture of the geographic region where I grew up or live now, for example, may inform who I am, in different ways. Practically speaking, no person is the product of one culture alone.

Why is Communicating Interculturally Difficult?

• Cultures provide us with roles, telling us who to be, how to act, what is okay to say- and to whom.
• Actual language differences often prohibit us from reaching shared meaning.
• Our perceptions about people and events are determined by culture, as are our goals and motivations, and our basic notions about human nature and self.
• Prejudice (prejudging someone negatively based on one’s beliefs about the other’s culture) and stereotypes (generalizations about behaviors, lifestyles, or other cultural attributes) can pop up in communication, often without us recognizing them as such in advance.
• Frustration, hurt, guilt, or anger from previous encounters with the same person or other people with similar cultural backgrounds can stand in the way.
• Assuming similarity when none exists is also a barrier to communication.

Our Internal Dialogue

Our internal dialogue of what any given person means, thinks, wants, or needs cannot be fully accurate since...

• No one culture defines any person, but rather a mix of the cultures a person has lived in or learned from informs what we think, feel, want and need.
• We are interpreting the other person’s culture, personality, demeanor, words, and actions through a screen of our own cultural values.

Even if our culture and organization call on us to be non-judgmental or open-minded, our minds will naturally still pose the questions "true or false", "good or bad," "beautiful or ugly." We answer those questions in a non-stop, mostly sub-conscious conversation within ourselves. So what does this knowledge help us do that can be useful in cross-cultural interactions?

When we are conscious of our dialogue, we can...

• ACKNOWLEDGE that others will see a situation, person, or event differently.
• UNDERSTAND that reasonable people can and will reasonably disagree about meanings and significance.
• TAKE a conscious and healthy interest in how you perceive the world differently than I do.
• KNOW that my reactions and judgements have a legitimate source- they make sense in the context of my own unique mix of cultural contexts. They help me survive and succeed there.

Creating Inclusion

Our goal in mentoring relationships-especially in "cross-difference" mentoring (cross-age, cross-cultural)- is to create "inclusion." An inclusive environment is one in which you feel valued and respected by me, and I feel valued and respected by you. When we create that mutual, almost physical, feeling of being valued and respected, we’ll resonate with our similarities and differences. Where better to create this than in a mentoring relationship?

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